Meet my Boyfriend... Me....

So, it's becoming clear to me that I'm going to have to seriously consider the direction this blog is going to take come the end of my journey. Here I am on day 17 and I have no clear idea of how to keep going once the 30 day challenge is over. I guess a part of me just considered dropping off the map entirely and hoping people occasionally stumbled upon my musings about this challenge. The other option is this... I let you all in on my true motivations for the challenge. I don't think I've taken the time to explain myself, and if you've been reading this whole time, then it's time you get to hear the juicy stuff.

This challenge is more than a physical challenge. It is an emotional challenge too. It was born out of a need to learn to carry myself with or without the help of a boyfriend. I have hinted at this before. I mentioned once or twice that I was getting distracted by boys or that I was nervous about how I would handle being in a social situation where there would be temptations. Well, this is because for the duration of this challenge I am actually in a relationship with me. The rules are simple, don't do anything that would upset my partner in any other relationship -- I've personally always considered kissing a cheat, so that is off limits. Flirting is ok, but only reciprocated, not initiated. And do everything that I would do to make my partner happy in a relationship -- check in often, cook nice dinners, go on dates and show him off to my friends. I have deliberately left out the physical parts in the "do" list. Well, that's just because that isn't the part of me "in a relationship" that needs to be better. Although, that might be the part I miss the most. Anyway, I need to be in a relationship with myself so that I can be the best me the next time I'm in a relationship with someone else. Also, more importantly, once I've learned that I can be the best with or without a boyfriend, I will be less inclined to settle into relationships which are fatally flawed from the beginning.

This is a hard concept to convey to most people. I've talked about it and I feel like every time I explain myself people think I'm just joking. I'm not joking - this is super serious. It's becoming tough though. I am literally starting to find every man attractive. It's ironic, really (at least I think it's ironic, I'm still not very good at the concept of irony). But, I'm actually in the best physical shape I've been in... ever. Granted, I'm a little sore, but I'm basically as flexible as ever and I'm thinner and more toned than I've been in ages. I'm really enjoying this body. I spend a long time looking in the mirror in the morning and I've been lingering in front of any full length reflection I see all over NYC.

I know this is kind of an abrupt ending, but I'm out of stuff to say. So, I'll be back around later today to talk about my yoga class this morning. Don't sweat it....or, actually, go ahead and sweat it.